In a small community, we tend to assume we know when someone is struggling. Sometimes we do, but just as often, people pull back quietly. They stop coming to events, stop answering messages, stop showing up in the places where we are used to seeing them. Life gets busy, seasons

Many veterans filed once, hit a wall, and never went back. Survivors often assume that if nothing was in place at the time of death, there are no options now.

Many of the calls we receive come from adult children helping a surviving parent sort through all of these benefits and programs. We love those calls. They mean someone is paying attention, stepping in early, and trying to prevent problems from turning into crises.

The world turns up the volume this time of year — lights, music, commercials, and so many slogans about “joy.” The truth is, a lot of veterans and caregivers spend the holidays holding more pain than they can say out loud, drowning in things like grief, distance, exhaustion, bills, and isolation.